About two years ago, my husband joined YFCI, a global ministry organization that supports Youth programs around the world in the name of Jesus. His first year and a half included travel to places like Thailand, Montreal, Brazil, Africa, and India while I remained at home with the kids. It was a massive adjustment for the family as we made some sacrifices to support the call into this ministry.
I would love to say it was always a joy to see my husband travel and meet people from every tribe, tongue, and nation, but I struggle with jealousy. For my whole life, travel has been in my bones. Meeting new people and seeing how the Lord works worldwide breathes new life into my soul. So when I stay home and hear about my husband's adventures, I pray for tons of grace from God, and He has been faithful to cover me in it.
When I finally got the news I could join him for a conference in Europe; I was so happy. I was ecstatic.
Rather than the face-to-face interaction I ached for, I got to watch him host an online conference. Don't get me wrong; it was a huge success, and people that normally wouldn't have been able to attend got to interact via this platform. We are thanking God for the ways He showed up. I am very proud of my husband too. But my heart still aches to go.
There is a scene from "The Chosen" series that feels like it was written just for me in this season. It is based on a particular moment in scripture where Jesus goes to Simon "Peter's" house to heal his mother-in-law. (Matt 8:14-15, Mark 1:29-31, and Luke 4:38-39).
Jesus speaks to Peter's wife, Eden, and says:
"I told Simon to make sacrifices and leave things behind to follow me. You are one flesh with Simon. He cannot make sacrifices that are not also yours. You have a role to play in all of this. You will know in time... I see you...I know it's not easy to be at home even when you are excited and proud of him."
I just love it. I love his words to her, and even though I know they aren't recorded in the Bible, they align with Jesus' character so much, I can picture them being said.
Jesus not only recognizes the sacrifice of his followers when huge missional things happen; he honors the sacrifice of those who stay behind and keep things running smoothly at home. If home life is a mess, then the ones who are called to go will never be able to focus on the task at hand.
My time to be on a more global mission with my husband will come. Maybe soon, maybe when I am old. Either way, I trust that the Lord will provide all I need to remain at home with my little "birds." In the meantime, I will pray for those who are called to fly right now—God's speed.
**The scene starts at 2:24.
September 29, 2020